Entries: (Mark Turner)

Scene: Some street in Glasgow.

Big Turner decided to help out after training and take all the training balls after pre season training at the Battery.

However, whilst in Glasgow during work, he was driving along eating a pie roll when he heard this massive explosion, he totally sh*t it, pie roll up in the air and everything. He nearly wrote his new motor af with the fright he got and thought someone had shot at him.

The big man eventually stopped to see what the hell it iz going on, and he checked his motor for bullet marks and his tyres to see if any of them had exploded. Last place he looked was the boot of his car, and he noticed one of the Kip baws had exploded.

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Entries: (Gordon Gordy Paterson)

Scene: Gordys hoose.

As new SAFL rules, each club has to register every player at the beginning of the season.

We were each given the forms to fill out and return by training on Wednesday night latest as they were to be handed in at the meeting on the Thursday night at Hampden.

When going through all the returned forms, they're was a section that said "OTHER NAMES" Gordy decided that his other name was Gordy so filled this in the form as his other name.

Gary was the only other one that filled in the "other name" section, but his other name was also Gary - Theres only two Gary Mains

Chopper had a red neck up at the meeting trying to explain this to the Committee aboot all these other names people were called.

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Entries: (Gordy Paterson)

Scene: Ootside Gordys hoose

On his way to going to football, the bold Gordy put his boots in the boot of his motor and then jumped in the car and went to drive away.

Only problem was - he found himself, in the back seat of his motor.

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Entries: (Stiv)

Scene: Horseshoe Bar

The bold Stiv came out with a classic statement in the Horseshoe after the Centre One game.

He said, when we do the beep test at training - that womens voice on the tape does his nut in, can we naw just turn it doon and run.

How you meant to hear the beeps if the volume is turned doon ?

Another thing, that women in the beep test has a very deep voice, deeper than Choppers in fact - is it naw a bloke

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Entries: (Chopper)

Scene: Pub in Glesga

At the Kip Christmas night out, the Kip headed to the bowling on the Quay side and then upto a few pubs before finishing in the Casino, while in the first pub in Glasgow, Chopper came back from the toilet with small hole in his jeans that he caught on something in the toilet.

Ding Dang stuck his finger in it, and when Chopper pulled away telling him to leave it alone - his jeans ripped to bits.

Chopper nearly exploded, and dragged the bouncer into the toilet showing him the thing he caught it on and told him he better get into the Casino with his jeans in that state. The bouncer felt sorry for him and went over to the Casino and warned them there would be a guy with ripped jeans coming in. Meanwhile back in pub, big Tony and Ding Dang were in the toilet with Choppers jeans af turned inside out trying to tape them up with black tape. When Chopper pulled them on, there as black tape everywhere.

He eventually got into the Casino with his taped up jeans, but you should have seen the state of them at the end of the night.

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