Entries: (Wilson) Yes he's back again this season

Scene - (Navid's Packi Shop), Within a fortnight of Kinni claiming the 2003 Captain of the Ship Trophy and Wilson adamant he would be continuing his Amateur football career elsewhere, he is back with a bang. He had the most entries last year and is first on the leader board with a classic. While pondering his future, he decided to take his mind away from football by treating himself to a new car. The last car he had, the car talked to you and the door key snapped in the lock on the day he bought it so the first question on everyones lips was, What kind of car have you bought ??? The reply - a Nissan Toyota !!! is there such a machine ??? Next Question, where did you buy it ??? The reply - af this Packi for £40, it's a wee cracker - he wanted £50 but I told him £40.

You canny even get a night oot for £40 never mind buy a motor at that price.

Picture of the famous (magnet) Nissan Toyota !!!

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Entries: (Wilson)

Scene: A burds hoose in Glesga, Erskine Bridge or Bishopton train station (Take yer pick)

He definitely is back - At the end of season night out, the boys went to the Casino then on to Jumping Jacks for a sesh. Where did Scott Wilson end up ? Back at some burds hoose somewhere on the outskirts of Glesga. He gets up in the morning and decides to dae a runner and leaves the house not having a clue where the hell he is. On bailing out the house, he dips into his pockets to find only 3 quid. Either he spent it all the night before or the burd dipped his pockets. So what next - he starts to walk hame, fae Glesga. Over the Erskine Bridge and everything, after 3 hours on the hard shoulder and getting attacked of a seagull, he arrives at Bishopton and decides to get a train from Bishopton to the Port with his 3 quid.

Now thats what I call a LEGEND !!!

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Entries: (Wilson)

Scene: Mckechnie Jess

Due to great demand, and after numerous people nagging me to put this effort on, I had to give in. With Big Dougan organising the race night, the Scosh boy says he'd sell one nae bother in work. When he handed it in there was a horse called "TREABLE WINNERS", the phantom speller had struck again.

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Entries: (Chopper)

Scene: Donnachies or Hampden Park (Take yer pick)

At training Chopper asked if anyone wanted to go to the Meeting at Hampden on Wednesday night as he couldn't make it, so Cass and Kinni volunteer to go. Be at Donnachies for 6pm and Brem will take you up. Cass and Kinni appear at Donnachies on the Wednesday night at 6pm, it gets to 7pm and there is still no sign of Brem. Chopper appears oot the blue to tell Cass and Kinni that he made a mistake, sorry Lads, it's naw this Wednesday - it's next Wednesday.

Last year he got Ravenscraig and Parklea mixed up, this year he's getting the dates mixed up.

Yil get it right yet Chopper........

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Entries: (Aitchie)

Scene: Battery Park (His heed exploded after the East Kilbride game)

After the East Kilbride 3-3 draw, Chopper called the Kip troops together to have a spasm because everyone was argueing with each other. The Aitch exploded and I mean exploded "his face was redder than his heed". After everthing had calmed down, he realised he had exploded and decided to give himself a ban. "A self imposed ban" as he put it. He was back playing after ONE week oot.

Oooh Ahhh Cantona get's banned for attacking a fan. The Aitch bans himself for exploding.

He said he has changed coz he's pissing himself off too, but you just know hes gonna explode again when the going gets tough.

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Entries: (Kinni)

Scene: Battery Park (Came on as a sub and came off again after 2 mins)

It was only a matter of time before last years Captain of the Ship Champion was back in the hunt to try and regain his title. The bold Tash is the most injury prone guy in Europe and had a Pre Season scare when he hit a penalty at training and went down clutching his ankle, he had another scare during the East Kilbride game when Dougie took the wrong man by mistake and he had to come off, it's very rarely Kinni will finish a half these days never mind 90 mins due to Injury. He broke his record during the Queens Park Scottish Cup game when he came off the bench after 70 mins - 72 mins on the clock and the Tash was down and clutching his bleeding beak. He had to come off with big Eck the No3 taking his place. He went to the pub after the game and on Sunday he was complaining his beak was sore, so he went to the hospital and they told him his nose was broke.

The Tash just has no luck - He'd probably break a leg in his own testimonial.

Paulo Di Kinnio

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Entries: (Tony No2)

Scene: Cambria Changing Room (No 4 yer times up)

Before the Cambria league game away from home, the team got read out and when everyone was trying to get they're jerseys to get changed, Tam who was meant to be No 4 couldn'y find the strip. So the whole Kip changing room is upside doon hunting for this No 4 shirt, after a few minutes still with no joy. Big Tony tells the ref that we have to play no 14 rather than no 4 as we canny find the strip. Easiest way to amend the team lines eh - put a 1 before the 4, who thought that wan up. Anyway there was still no sign of this No 4 shirt.

Until Tony goes hame and the Number 4 shirt is oot drying over his radiator. The big man had decided to experiment with Daz on one strip as some of the dirt had not come out the strips the week before from the launderette.

Will your whites pass big Tonys Daz Doorstep Challenge ? ...

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Entries: (Joe 90)

Scene: Clydebank Go Kart Course

At the delayed Kip Xmas night out in January, the Kip troops hit the Go Karting in Clydebank for some racing. Over six heats in the speedy karts racing against each other the final leader board table showed the bold Joesie in last position out of the 26 bodies taken part !!!

The chant coming home on the bus from Glesga at 3pm was - Joe drives a milk float !!!

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Entries: (Ryza)

Scene: His maws bedroom

Coming home from the Leven Valley 2-2 draw, the banter was flowing on Liam's boogie bus. Ryza only on his second outing with the boys started to roast someone. It backfired on him, as one of his so called best mates told everyone that he wore his maws jeans to "Word Up" one Sunday night. The story goes "he came back from a weekend away half biffed and saw his maws jeans lying the bed, so rather than iron one of his own pair he just decides to pull them on and head into town".

You'll make the Levi's advert yet Ryza..... ..

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WINNER

CAPTAIN OF THE SHIP 2003/2004

Joe Hughes - "Joe drives a milk float"